Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.